Growing up, I was raised Lutheran. During my early years, attending church was a requirement, even if I didn't yet know who God was. Because I didn't know my purpose in church, I didn't enjoy attending. To me, it was just about having to wake up early Sunday mornings and wear uncomfortable clothes. It was about school on Sundays (Sunday School), pastries and adult gossip in the never-used gymnasium.
My favorite memories growing up in the Lutheran church were the Christmas pageants. As Christians, we took our yearly Christmas pageants very seriously. Each kid was assigned a part, where he was expected to memorize lines to which he had to perform in front of the entire Congregation. I really can't explain why I enjoyed this ritual as I was a very ugly kid at this time and hated performing to anyone—let alone the entire Church congregation! Almost every year, I was assigned the role of one of the three Kings; the Kings who travelled to Jesus' parents (Mary and Joseph) in order to give them gifts.
A large percentage of my friends growing up were Catholics. I have to say, I was jealous because they only had to attend church every other week and they were allowed to attend alone—without their mothers or fathers. Also, while Lutheran services were 2-3 hours long, Catholic services were 1 hour, max. As I got a little older, random events led to my family only having to attend church 1-2 Sundays per month. My parents began breaking apart as I began to rebel against structured society, which included religion. So, since I was spending more time with my Catholic friends, I made myself a Catholic Christian and started attending church with them. At this time, I was both: Lutheran and Catholic. At the age of 10, I was attending more church than my parents.
As a baptized Lutheran, we were required to attend Confirmation classes with the pastor every Tuesday night while we were in the 7th and 8th grades. Now, if it wasn't bad enough that I absolutely loathed junior high, I had to see the same kids who bullied me each and every day on weeknights too! I was not enjoying my life at this point. Confirmation classes consisted of us, the students, reading Bible passages to the Pastor (teacher). I loved my pastor but, well, Confirmation classes were extremely boring. I still have memories of me and 5 other kids sitting around a wooden table, listening to language content we didn't understand and preparing for a Sacramental rite of passage (Confirmation) we knew little about. In addition to Confirmation classes, we were also required to attend Sunday school classes, which were equally as boring. The best thing about Sunday school classes during my middle school years was the free candy my teachers gave out. What can I say? The educational curriculum at my church failed to capture my interests.
My formal Confirmation was a big event. It marked the time when we, as Lutherans, took our first (official) Communions. This involved kneeling at the Alter, eating a wheat wafer (bread) and drinking a thimble-sized shot glass full of wine. The wine was the best part. I mean, we were legally allowed to drink alcohol and allowed to brag about it. For a 13-year-old kid, this was big-time stuff! However, I kept it a secret from my parents and church that I had already been taking Communion at the Catholic Church for the past 2-3 years. I guess I kept this secret because I didn't want my parents to think I betrayed the Lutherans by going to one of their friendly competitors, the Catholics.
As I entered high school, my religious activities basically paused. By this time, my mom had developed severe schizophrenia and stopped attending church altogether. My dad still attended each week as I had two younger brothers going through Sunday school. He often had "Usher" duty while I often had "Acolyte" duty—a fancy name for he who lights the candles on the Alter. I remember clearly sitting on the "stage" next to the Pastor, seeing all my high school friends fighting to stay awake after a long Saturday night of hardcore partying.
A good amount of time passed where I had no spiritual involvement whatsoever. I was disconnected from the church as well as society. I fell on hard times, my best friend died; I joined a gang, and just did not care about anything except my friends—who were also disconnected from religion during these dark years.
A few more years passed. I had gotten my life at least halfway in order and was ready to reenter society. My favorite interest at this time was, if you can possibly believe it, college—the world of learning! After being one of history's, all-time worst high school students, I decided to attempt an educational-recovery by taking a few classes at my local, community college. It worked out great. I found my niche. Although I didn't yet know what I wanted to study, I did know that I wanted to remain in college for a very long time. As I progressed through community college, I gained several recognitions and honors, along with almost a straight-A average. Even though I sacrificed my pre-collegiate years to the streets, I found my voice, my calling, in the college classroom. With my community college record, I was able to transfer to just about any four-year university in the country.
Searching for the right school is a subject within itself. I knew I wanted to go to a private, four-year university, which narrowed down my choices. Then I figured out that I wanted to remain in the Chicago-area, which narrowed down my choices even more. I began researching possible schools and came across Loyola University Chicago. My research stopped right there. I knew I had to attend Loyola. You could say, it was my calling; my vocation.
One of my first classes as a university scholar—and proud of it—was a Theology class called Introduction to the New Testament. This was my first experience in a non-public education setting (other than church), so I had no idea what to expect. I'm not afraid to admit either that I had no idea what Theology was as a subject. I thought, at first, it was going to be like Sunday school: boring and time-consuming. However, Loyola required me to take three Theology classes in order to graduate, and Introduction to the New Testament was the first.
I could write a 500 page novel describing what I learned from this one Theology class. It was by far my favorite class ever! I learned, for the first time, what it really meant to be religious; the origins of Christianity; and a detailed account of each Book of the New Testament Bible. I loved this class so much, I never missed a day, read everything assigned, and more. I have to say, however, it was a difficult class. I was required to write critical essays regarding Biblical topics such as Paul (one of the founders of Christianity) and the "Two-source Hypothesis" (which explains some of the historical origins of the Gospels).
At this point in my life, I was overjoyed. I was at a great college taking interesting and informative classes and was able to reconnect with God. I began attending church on campus whenever I had time. I made it one of my lifelong missions to adhere to Christian principles whenever possible. My entire outlook of religion and life were changed for the better after my experiences at this Jesuit University. Even though I was still to face many of life's disappointments after graduation, this one Theology class and my college education as a whole transcended me to a spiritual awakening that I cannot even begin to describe in words.
While I offered some harsh criticisms regarding my upbringing as a Christian, I felt I had to be honest. I love God more than life itself. Sure, it took many, many years before I even got close to understanding what religion means, but it was all worth it! I transformed myself from an ugly, fat, disrespectful kid who didn't know God into a glorious, intelligent, and still at times disrespectful adult who made worshiping God my main mission in life. Do I still sin? Of course. Will I always sin? Of course, or, at least until I get to Heaven (if God accepts me!).
All in all, I have to emphasize that while I consider myself an avid worshipper of God and a godly Christian in most respects, I still have made (and will always make) many mistakes in life. I even tried to get my non-believing friends to accept the notion of God as the one and only omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent being. The way I see it, I want to know that they will move on to a much better place when they pass. Before my best friend died at 17, I pleaded with him to give God a chance. I guess he took my advice because I know he went to Heaven. How do I know? Well, that's between me, him and Jesus.
Nevertheless, even though I adhere to the Christian doctrine (way of life), I still do bad things and make poor choices. The religious and theological references, opinions, differences and misconceptions in my media outlets are sometimes necessary, but I remain true when it comes to full-disclosure news-reporting. I am sensitive to the fact that there are many non-believers (Atheist and agnostic) and strongly feel that they have the right to their own opinions, regardless of faith (or the lack thereof).
-Just Jay for WordUP News-
